Uh…

I… I’m going to have a stepdad and a stepbrother. It’s official.

I’m not sure what to think of that… I mean, I knew it was coming, but just not so… right now! So! That’s… Uh… Wow.

I finally got SecondLife working, by the way. I got a wheelchair for my avatar! I really hope I can find people there who don’t hate me for who I am… Sometimes they’re hard to come by, you know. One time, I told someone on IRC what was bothering me and why “finding Jesus” or whatever he was saying wouldn’t help, and he called me creepy… That make me really sad.

I wish I could just be myself, without being afraid. But there are so many hateful people in the world who wouldn’t understand that I didn’t choose this. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t transabled, but often I realize that if I wasn’t transabled, I don’t think I’d really be me.

I’m stating the semi-obvious now… I’d better go to bed before I start stating the very very obvious — oh look, the walls are beige. There’s a dent in the wall. (Oh no, I’m already too late!)

Maybe I’ll think of a real post tomorrow, at a decent time so I’m not completely exhausted…

Well, then.

Today, after reading blogs all day instead of doing my homework (I had a really bad headache, okay?) I decided that clearly I need a blog.

Now, this is not to say that I’m new to the world of blogging! Oh, no. I’ve had several blogs in the past, they just… Never got updated. Quite sad really. I plan to break that pattern by actually updating this one on a somewhat regular basis.

Really! I am!

Anyhow, a bit about myself. My name is Torako, or at least that’s what you’re going to know me as. There are a lot of people who are important in my life, but I need to think of codenames for them. I suppose I can just call them by their online names for now… I have a girlfriend, Neona or N30na, who is very dear to me but infinitely more 1337 than I could ever aspire to be. I have a sort-of-boyfriend, who I think goes by the names of Firefly09td or Firelife on this series of tubes we refer to as the interwebz. He is good at making videos and until recently had adorable fluffy pink hair. But he cut it off. The other important person in my life who has an online persona is Nrot/Chroniclinux, who may or may not still be considered to be dating me, I think not. We never “officially” broke up though, and given the fluid nature of my relationships (everyone loves everyone else) I’m not sure it really matters.

But about me. I am 18 years old and genderqueer, although when asked I identify myself as female and use female pronouns, so for all/most intents and purposes I am female. I am attending my freshman year of college… I am a Computer Science major and I can code at least to an extent in Visual Basic, C++, and C#. Well, and HTML but I mean, everyone knows HTML. Oh and I’ve played with CSS, and I can read Java, and I used to know a bit of ActionScript, and um… Oh, Neona once helped me write a program in bash, but it was really just “hello world” with more obscenities. Which, of course, we left up on the screen (which happened to be the television) because we’re just classy like that.

I’m getting off the subject here. Me. I’m introducing myself. Yes…

I have been diagnosed with ADD and Scoliosis, although I strongly suspect that I also have Asperger’s Syndrome, Bipolar, Depression, and possibly some form of Fibromyalgia. I also have diagnosed myself (as no doctor could diagnose it really) with BIID, or Body Integrity Identity Disorder. Basically, it means that my brain and my body don’t match up. My body is able-bodied (mostly) but my brain thinks it is paraplegic (although it’s not quite sure what level). My BIID is unusual in that most people know exactly where it is, but I don’t. I think it’s because very few people figure out what’s going on as early as I did. I have known about this since I was 16 years old.

Anyhow, that’s enough about me I think. I have class in 5 hours and should probably try to get some sleep before then. Night night!

blabblesniggygook
%d bloggers like this: