I’m going to a community college in a city nearby, since I kinda… flunked out of the school I was in before. On the plus side, I REALLY like the classes I’ve been taking (3D modeling) and I think I may go for some sort of animation degree.

I’ve always wondered, though, if I should get accommodations. I mean, I am autistic, after all, and I do struggle in school to some extent or another, purely because I can’t fucking manage my time. But… What can the school do about that? I don’t even know what resources are available to me because I was denied any support when I was in the public school system (partly because the school system sucks, and partly because my mom’s reaction was basically “oh, well!”)

I know I could get a note taker. I’m sure I can prove that I have dysgraphia and that I never learned to take notes. But, here’s the thing. The reason I was able to manage in school before was… basically the reason my mom never really tried to get me help. Which is, the doctor said I was so smart that I’d make up for it. Which I have. I never developed the ability to take notes even when I had something to type with because, except in math class, I never really *needed* notes. The notes I take make absolutely no sense when I re-read them later because I almost always just remember shit. So I’m not sure I really need a note taker, and that would be embarrassing anyway.

But here’s the thing. Yes, I’ve made it this far using my intelligence to make up for my disabilities.

So how far could I go with proper supports?

But, what ARE proper supports? When I was younger, my mom would constantly ask me that question. “What can I do to help you do better in school?” But I never had the answer. How could I? If I knew how to do better, I would be doing better! Sure, it’s important to include your kid in discussions about their education, but it is in NO way the kid’s responsibility to know exactly what they need. The educational discussion should not start and end with staring at your kid, expecting her pull some magical solution out of her ass right then and there, and then saying “fine, but I can’t help you if you won’t help me!”

Blaming a kid for their disabilities is NOT an educational tool.

But it’s all I’ve ever really known.

So… What IS?

%d bloggers like this: